Many times I have been asked: How many times would it be “normal” to have sex? And the truth is that there is no single answer, because it depends on the lifestyle, libido, age and other factors that are related to this frequency.
What is certain is that the more space there is between sexual relations with your partner, little by little, the desire and the sexual impulse will be lost because of the routine.
According to the Boston Medical Group portal, when romantic relationships are just beginning, the frequency of sex is high (it can be up to three times a day). While, on the other hand, when the relationship is more stable and long-lasting, they can have sex three times a week instead.
Based on his study of couples between the ages of 20 and 50 years old, Harry Fisch, a urologist at New York Presbyterian Hospital, assures that age is a determining factor in the frequency of sexual relations.
In his research, he warns that couples between 20 and 30 years old have 1 to 3 sexual relations per week; between 30 and 50 years old, the frequency drops to 2 and is considered good; and, after 50 years old, it is very common to have one sexual relation per week or even none at all.
Of course, these studies are not conclusive because they only collect the opinions of the people who underwent the analysis, and this cannot determine the general behavior of couples.
Each couple will determine the rhythm and the frequency with which they have sex taking into account some premises such as physical and mental fitness, eating habits and, of course, the right discharge of emotion and passion.
However, it is common to wonder: Do I have little sex with my partner? Is the frequency with which we have sex important to create a stable bond?
There is no magic number and, truth be told, “normal” is not the appropriate term to determine how often you should have sex. Thinking that a couple that has sex every day is happier than one that has sex once a week, according to experts, is not determinative. At the end of the day, there is no number that establishes the level of happiness of a couple, each one can go at their own #sinrecato pace.
A few couples go through some periods when that sex frequency varies as in situations of stress, because of work, during pregnancy, when there are small children, because of illness, etc.
There are always moments of intensity in life as a couple, but, at some point, the rainbow comes. And even if time passes by without having sex, what you should not get away from is the moments of intimacy, talking, kissing, hugging.
A study conducted by the University of Toronto, in Canada, published by the journal ‘Social Psychological and Personality Science’, concluded that the frequency with which a couple has sex can be linked to the degree of their satisfaction.
This research, which involved more than 30,000 North American couples over four decades, establishes that once a week is the amount that reflects the stability and well-being of a healthy relationship.
Amy Muise, social psychologist and promoter of the study, argues: “More is not always better. Every couple has their own completely unique needs. The basis of everything should be conversation and understanding with the other person so that both parties are comfortable. Empathize with your partner to understand the situation.”
The expert adds that a relationship with little sex is not a decompensated relationship. “It may be necessary for some people and, of course, it has benefits as long as it is pleasurable. However, we must be aware that having sex is not a basic need like eating or sleeping,” she says.
That is why communication with your partner is important. Listen and know how they feel and if they really want it, so you do not get into an uncomfortable situation in which you have sex just to please the other.
Sexual energy is unique. Therefore, it is key that the quantity and quality of sex satisfies both partners to prevent desire and passion from fading away and, most importantly, to help that bond have the level of intimacy that every couple should and deserves to have.
Traducción del español: Catalina Oviedo Brugés