Looking through my 2019 agenda I came across these two words: erotophilia and erotophobia. I had them written down for more than a year because I found them interesting; I heard them in a discussion about sexuality where they talked about eroticism.
Each person responds to sexual and erotic stimuli in a different way, depending on their personality, character and temperament. The extreme of positive attitudes towards sexuality is called erotophilia, because one responds with pleasant emotions; while the opposite side refers to negative and rejection attitudes, meaning erotophobia.
Children receive various messages from their family, but, for example, if sexuality is treated as something bad or shameful, or is never talked about, it is likely that the child will turn into someone with a negative attitude towards the subject.
On the contrary, if they receive information in a natural, positive way, they are likely to develop more open and relaxed attitudes. They will not see sex as a sin or as a taboo.
“It is associated with personality traits, with the sex education received, with the way in which each one grew up and with the experiences passed on. Emotions such as guilt and shame are brought into play, which sometimes come hand in hand with rigid and dysfunctional sexual learning. If, on the other hand, what is learned is that sexuality is something pleasant and with a margin for flexibility, one will live in a satisfactory manner,” explains sexologist Federico Rinaldi.
A positive approach to sexuality
Having positive attitudes will allow us to enjoy our sexual life to a greater extent. That is why here I point out some traits of erotophilic people:
- – They have higher levels of sexual desire.
- – A greater number of orgasms.
- – Greater sexual satisfaction, even during pregnancy.
- – Sexual assertiveness, ability to initiate desired erotic relationships and reject those that are not desired.
- – Appropriate use of contraceptive methods.
- – Good sexual health because gynecological (women) and urological (men) checkups are performed.
- – Awareness of sexual orientation and acceptance of it.
- – Users of pornography and non-conventional sexual practices.
In homosexual, bisexual, pansexual, and polysexual people, among others, erotophilic attitudes are related to an awareness of their orientation at earlier ages and also to a greater acceptance of their own orientation.
Therapy is important, as long as the person goes voluntarily to the psychologist or sexologist.
The opposite pole
According to sexologists, erotophobic attitudes can have a negative influence, because they are closely related to the development of sexual dysfunctions or difficulties in achieving pleasure (erectile dysfunction, impotence, frigidity) in both men and women.
The main characteristics of erotophobes are:
- – Sex is their main enemy.
- – Violent and hysterical reactions to any sexual contact.
- – They show coldness and shyness.
- – They have little physical contact.
- – A feeling of fear and guilt when it comes to sex.
- – Negative reactions to sexually explicit material.
- – Sexual relations with less frequency.
Although attitudes begin to be learned since little, they can also change if professional help is sought, allowing people to see their sexuality from a positive perspective. Therapy is important, as long as the person goes voluntarily to the psychologist or sexologist.
These seem to be good reasons to cultivate erotophilia, taking into account that a healthy sexual life brings many benefits to the body and mind, and that it is a pleasant way to contribute to the well-being of the planet.
I hope you can identify if you are erotophilic because you feel comfortable and relaxed with your sexuality; or if you are erotophobic because you are too tense to live sex to the fullest. It is your choice.
Traducción del español: Catalina Oviedo Brugés.