Today I will talk to you Sin Recato about open marriages; the pros and cons according to Puerto Rican sexologist Alessandra Rampolla.
Culturally, monogamy is the traditional couple model in the western world. It is understood that a couple united in marriage or free union is limited to having sex with each other. When a third or fourth partner enters, it is considered infidelity.
The motivation in general to consider open relationships is precisely to break the routine, and the most important thing, if you decide to take that step, is that the rules or agreements should be clear.
“While some people are thrilled by the decision to spend the rest of their lives with the same person – and have sex only with them – others shudder at the very idea. But that doesn’t mean that the latter want to give up a stable partner, and here the variable of an open relationship can enter as a viable option, as long as the agreement is the same for both of them”, says Rampolla.
However, the sexologist comments that sometimes it is normal to think that open couples end up separating, but the reality is that divorce or separation happens frequently in traditional couples. And she clarifies that open relationships could be a stage that couples wish to experience and that has an end date.
The biggest fear of couples is that one of them will fall in love with a third party. So, if you want to live the experience of an open relationship, the sexologist points out three important points that should not be missed:
Communication: it is fundamental in any type of relationship and even more so in this one. It is important to ask each other how you feel and to be sincere. The novelty can be mind-blowing for both of you. But not everyone is ready for such a relationship. Ideally, you should both enjoy it because if one of you is uncomfortable or in pain then jealousy and insecurity will start to grow and the stability you once had may be in jeopardy. It is best to share your feelings, and if you feel insecure, it is better to go back to the traditional relationship.
An agreement: to avoid misunderstandings, it is best to establish an agreement between the two of you. There is no general rule; each couple should be clear about what they want and what they do not want, because no matter how open a relationship is, it should also have limits.
Do not have sex with the same person more than once, always come back home to sleep, stay away from that third party if they start to get romantically involved. The ideal thing is to respect the agreements because if you break them you are being dishonest with your partner.
Safe sex: it is a golden rule in this type of open relationship to protect yourself. By having multiple lovers, the chances of contracting sexually transmitted diseases are more likely. The use of condoms is mandatory. It is also important to avoid pregnancy outside of your marriage.
Monogamous sympathizers consider open relationships to be a type of “camouflaged infidelity”, but the difference is clear. Infidelity is the betrayal of a person’s trust in their partner. The couple’s commitment to be exclusive to each other is broken because one of them has a sexual or romantic relationship with another person without the knowledge of their partner.
In open relationships there is a link with a third person, but the difference is that there is the consent and knowledge of the partner. It is an agreement previously established by the two. Therefore, there is no cheating or infidelity in the couple.
If you want to swim in that ocean, sexologist Alessandra Rampolla recommends that the couple has a high degree of maturity, emotional stability and trust because, without a doubt, these sexual encounters are a cocktail of adrenaline that in addition to breaking the routine, most of the time manages to renew the excitement and even the desire to have sex with your partner.
Traducción del español: Catalina Oviedo Brugés