Today I will start a new series, the confessional; I do not have the quality of a priest, but if you need to be heard at any time, I’m here! I understand the relief that is to be heard by someone, but most of the time there is no one to vent to or no one you feel confident enough to talk to, precisely, due to the fear of being judged or singled out.
Greisy Vega (*) is an attractive young woman, single mother, professional and, like many others, she became unemployed during the pandemic: “I was working in a bank, apparently, it was something stable but with the famous personnel cut, I became unemployed and without a salary, because the compensation money was in the hands of the bank, which I had a debt with. I am a mother first and foremost; I could not sit idly by. So I started looking for a job everywhere, not even thinking about my profession, I am a public accountant. I needed to work, at whatever I could get a job”, she says.
“I feel like an average woman; in fact, I have insecurities about my body. However, my friends tell me that ‘I’m hot’, which is flattering because us women tend to be hard on ourselves, and for having three children I actually look great. Of course, if I had money, I would have already had a breast operation”, she says with a laugh.
“After a year, I got a job in a bank again, with a lower salary, and I accepted it because my finances were in the red. One day when I was chatting with a friend, she told me that she had quit her job to devote herself full time to being a webcam model and that the studio where she was working at was looking for attractive women”.
“Immediately, I told her no. Thousands of signs came out in my head, that I was not going to be good for that, what my family was going to think, in short, the idea kept bothering me all that week. And my friend just told me to think about it and she would help me to get in”.
“That week I started looking for information on the internet, I watched videos, because of course; I couldn’t talk without knowing what the environment was like. And looking at my fridge as a light source: just full of light, I said: ‘What the f*ck, I’m gonna do it!'”.
“Having my friend, who was already part of this business, was an advantage for me, because she enlightened me a lot about the topic and just as she had described it to me that’s how it was; although I confess that I thought it was a little easier to gain followers, everything is about time and perseverance”.
“At the beginning it was hard because of the schedule and I wanted to throw in the towel, because it didn’t justify the earnings, but I’ve been going on for six months now and everything has improved. Being a webcam model is not as perverted as people think, since we all do and accept to do what makes us feel comfortable, it can happen that we meet people who have a different fetish or something strange, but it’s normal, well, in real life it’s like that, but here you have the control to decide what to do as well”.
“I’ve been in two studios and I left the first one because I didn’t have accompaniment. If I had a studio, I would invest time in the models, I would train them, so that they could improve their body expression, which influences the audiovisual part. In the end this will represent more income for the studio, but the most important thing is to enjoy it, as I’m sure all of us who are in the business do”.
“In the studio, once, they asked me why I didn’t show my buttocks that much and I told them that it was because I don’t have much and they responded to that by raising my self-esteem. They gave me tests to see how the users see me and the truth is that I feel good…It’s more of an internal struggle because of my insecurities”.
I asked her to tell me the good, the bad and the dark side of this experience.
The bad side: “The visitors who want to get carried away and do not give tips, that is, people who want shows without paying. Some of the prohibitions that the studio has for the models, for example, is that they can’t even greet each other”.
The good side: “It has not happened to me, but I have heard stories that some girls have been offered a considerable amount of tokens (money) to paint their hair or get spanked, which are activities that do not harm my integrity, and represent some extra money”.
The dark side: “So far I have not had any outlandish or strange proposals, but what I am clear about is that I would not do anything that would harm me or make me feel uncomfortable, but something very strange happened to me. On one occasion a woman gave me tips and between the conversation we had, she always included comments about her children, and when she told me that her children were there with her watching me, I ended the transmission”.
Greisy says that she has handled the subject with discretion for her children, especially for her youngest son. She has two older children, and they are more understanding and know and comprehend the situation.
“I am an independent woman, I can fend for myself and this is a way to earn extra money, I am not hurting absolutely no one. In fact, not even myself because I am doing something that in addition to helping me economically, has made me feel comfortable. People tend to see it as a taboo, something perverted, which it really isn’t. Personally I just see it as another job”.
“It is true that many of us get into this for some economic need, but the most certain thing is that we keep the pleasure we get from it. A new experience, self-knowledge, earning for what you enjoy, feeling sexy”.
At the end of her confession she assures that she is going to be a webcam model for a year. Her goal is to save enough money and quit while she gets a better job.
(*) Changed name.
Traducción del español: Catalina Oviedo Brugés