I confess that once I start watching a series, I want to finish it the same day. I admit it, it’s kind of addictive; however, it’s better to enjoy it and not watch it in one sitting.
It all started with the first season of ‘You’, streamed on Netflix, and I couldn’t stop until I anxiously awaited the fifth and final season in which, finally, we would know if Joe Goldberg would get his way.
It’s real, at some point in any woman’s life they will meet a Joe who, unlike any other man, is almost perfect, charming, loving, shows his feelings and, above all, is able to make you believe he would do anything for you.
And I say ANYTHING, because he will fulfill even your slightest whim to, supposedly, show you his love. However, this pink story, in which most of the time the damsel is in trouble and then rescued by her knight-errant, doesn’t have a happy ending.
The perfect man, full of details, nice words, will eventually show who he really is; a manipulator, misogynist, controlling guy, who always makes you feel guilty when things are not done his way or at least as he has planned.
Experts in psychology confirm that manipulative people seek to influence someone’s behavior to induce them to make decisions for the benefit of the other.
To achieve their goal they use persuasion and seduction techniques on their victims, which isn’t just a coincidence. This is a strategic study based on what they want to obtain while taking advantage of people’s sensitivity and vulnerability.
The profile of a manipulator is not so easy to recognize, because they are extremely skillful and use many “disguises”, that is, they mask their true personality so that people in trouble fall for them.
Take note, here we will show you some of their most characteristic traits:
- When faced with any circumstance that bothers them, they are easily irritated and overreact. You never really know what it is that angers them and how they will act. They can become very violent.
- In front of others they appear friendly and seductive, but in private, they unleash the monster.
- When things get out of control, they don’t take responsibility for their actions and skillfully transfer it to others.
- Egocentric, they believe they are the owners of the world and that the rest are tenants.
- They don’t admit criticism of any kind and never recognize when they make a mistake.
- They fear the unknown, that’s why they have the same routines, because they feel safe when controlling everything around them.
If you do not want to fall into the game of a manipulator, try not to be easy prey, here we will tell you what attitudes would make you vulnerable:
- You are always looking for the approval of others.
- Excess of empathy.
- You seek to feel loved regardless of the consequences.
- You are afraid of conflict, of offending or displeasing.
- You find it difficult to set limits and to decide based on your own desires and aspirations.
- You don’t know how to say NO and feel guilty when you do.
- You don’t trust your own critical judgment.
- You strive to be accepted.
Once you accept that you are with a manipulator and seek help, you must get away, although it’s easier said than done, you must set limits.
The manipulative person will seek to make you feel guilty, that’s why you should not give explanations, because accountability implies submission to the other.
In case of a possible aggression, you should keep your distance and not take anything personal so as not to fall into the manipulator’s trap. Do not respond to one aggression with another. Do not raise your voice or contradict, do not waste your energy.
Show confidence and trust your own decisions without feeling guilty. Accepting help is a healthy way to avoid major problems and to regain your well-being and mental health.
Of course it’s not easy to recognize that someone you love is manipulating you, but if there’s someone important to take care of above all others it’s yourself, you don’t need to be saved by anyone; the only person who will save you from any situation is you. You are someone valuable and important and you don’t need anyone’s approval to be or do whatever you want to live with peace of mind and happiness.
Traducción del español: Catalina Oviedo Brugés
No Comments